15 July 2014

Learning the Impossible

As you may have judged from my previous post, there was a day last week when I was not feeling very positive. It had been a very long day with anger, tears, frustration, and guilt on everyone's part. That night there was a disagreement about brushing teeth, going to bed, playing with toys, the rules regarding a new toy and everything in between.

Moose and I were so stressed that we called up a good friend (at 10:00). As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ, Moose and I wanted a blessing to help calm us and let us know if we were even pointed in the right direction with our parenting.

Our good friend came over and brought his brother-in-law (BIL) to help. Come to find out BIL is a psychiatrist, who works with children, in the Foster Care system. We hadn't told our friend what we wanted, but we received exactly what we needed.

We kept them until 11:30 and received the council we needed, both spiritually and temporally. What stuck with us the most is something that BIL told us as he had been talking with us. He told us that one of the skills parents need to learn is how to shut up. As an adult we sometimes over talk when silence is more powerful.

Yeah . . . talk about teaching old dogs new tricks.

But by golly, I've noticed in the three days I've been working on this new skill that when I keep my mouth shut after succinctly and clearly explaining that it works much better.

The other skill I need to learn is to make sure that I don't let my emotions take control. I can be all torn up inside, but I have to seem like I am in control. If the kids realize they have control over my emotions then I lose the little power I have . . . Sigh. No talking and no crying . . . I have a lot to work on.

Award Ceremony

SCENE

After a long day with many tears, Wife texts her mother.

Wife: (text) I think I won the World's Worst Mother award tonight if Son were the judge. I would like to thank all the little people who's names I can't remember. . .

Mother: (text) Some days are like that, even in Australia.

END SCENE

(I quoted part from Veggie Tales. My Mother replied with "Alexander's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day".)

02 July 2014

Not Sinking In

Moose and I are trying to teach Tech a lesson in money management. We started this lesson on Monday. It is supposed to last for three weeks.

First to explain the lesson. We printed fake money and are paying or charging Tech for various activities. We gave him enough money to pay rent, buy food, and pay for screen time everyday. He even has money left over. He can also do work to earn money. He has to do his daily work. That is his job. He can also do yard work or even sell his tools and toolbox for instant cash. If he runs out of money he can take out a loan. The money received by loan can only be used for life essential items.

If Tech manages to use his money wisely he gets real cash as well as some advantages when school starts. If he uses his money okay he still gets some real money. If he doesn't use it well we don't exactly know what to do. I will also add that we will feed him, fake money or no. But some of his privileges may not be available, such as screen time. . .

So this started Monday. It is now Wednesday night. Anyone care to guess how much he has left? After Tech got home from his merit badge class he wanted screen time. He didn't have enough money. Moose was trying to get Tech to realize this was a problem. He was trying to get Tech to understand the real world application. If this was real world what would Tech do for food. Would Tech be willing to really sell his toolbox . . .

"Wait. I forgot I can sell my toolbox for more screen time."

Face palm.

So. Even though it may kill me we are going forward with this lesson. Tech will have no screen time after tomorrow. He will not be able to play with friends before his work is done. He will not get dessert (Moose and I will not be eating it in front of him). We will feed him, the same as we always do. But, let's just say we don't know how this is going to end.

Scared

Saturday we spend a great time with family. We left around 11 and got home just after 5. We had run to Wallyworld to pick up some night lights for our basement since we will be having family staying down there over the 4th. I headed to the basement to plug in the lights. I opened the door and stared at the large window. Shattered.

Moose came running when I called his name. He stopped behind me, just as shocked as I was. One half of the sliding window was broken as if something had flown through it. The screen was ripped off and ripped out of its frame in the window well, and the window cover wasn't visible.

We ran through the house to see if anything was missing. All the electronics and medications accounted for. Nothing visible missing. But the back screen door was open and it was shut when we left.

We believe it was an accident. That something was accidentally thrown through the window. Our screen covers are completely covered but there are gaps large enough for a perfectly thrown baseball. What scared me was the fact that there was broken glass found 15 feet from the window. A lot of glass was inside our house, but there was no sign of the object that broke the window. What scares me is the fact that they probably came into the house to retrieve what was broken. They could have slid the window open, came in, grabbed the object, and then left closing the window behind them.

The window is now boarded and we are waiting to hear the verdict on how much it will cost. We have now made braces for our windows and sliding back door, though as Moose points out, they can still just break the windows. Oh well. I am just glad that it wasn't worse.